well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
