are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
