life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He better not be in your backpack
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
