i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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