hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Acid is not a monday night drug
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
