I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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