it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
