You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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