Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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