At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
