just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
