This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize