But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize