I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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