**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
