My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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