i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize