dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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