she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
