I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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