I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
