You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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