If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
