does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
