my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
