Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Can Purell be used as lube?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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