It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did you pee in the oven last night??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
