ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
