omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize