i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize