guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
