I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
