Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
