24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's even glitter on my cock...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
