You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
