READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
