fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
