just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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