ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
