yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
