Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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