yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
