Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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