She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
