**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
