ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize