i would punch a child for taco bell
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize