Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
