so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize