You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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