Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
