If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize