I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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