Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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