people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize