I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
