1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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