My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
