Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
