ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
