The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
