sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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