She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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