If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
