I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize