You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
