he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
