i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize