To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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