Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
